"Look at my beautiful pecs. I can make them jiggle."

If you're going to be a pimp, you have to learn how to fight. I mean, what else are you going to do when you're attacked by ninjas? Sing the theme song to "Friends"? When the pigs are after ya, and you left your gun in your other pants, you're gonna have to step up and fight 'em. Mano a mano. So I'm gonna teach you how. Now, my man Bruce Lee (pictured at right) would tell you to get all Kung Fu-ey on their ass. But I have to disagree. There's only one real way to settle a fight like a man. Thumb-wrestling to the death. Yeah, that's right. And if they won't thumb-wrestle you, run. Run like a madman. It's time for step 7.