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"make me your bitch"

"me love you long time"

You have reached the most important part of becoming a pimp. After you complete this step, you can officially be called a pimp. The other 4 steps are just the finishing touches. My man, its time for you to get yourself a hoe.

Now, it is physically impossible to be a pimp without owning a hoe. Owning a hoe is what constitutes being a pimp. They go hand in hand, like puppies and chainsaws. Of course, hoes don't just appear out of nowhere. You've got to go out and find yourself a hoe. And no, Regis Philbin will not suffice.

You've got to know where to look. Lounging around some skanky bar looking for your regular old prostitute isn't going to cut it. You've got to look where you'd least expect it. Like the library. Or the car wash. Or the United States Supreme Court. Keep an eye out for hoe material. Sure signs of a hoe-worthy female are tight pants, low cleavage, and big signs that say "Hi. Would you like to have sex with me?" If you see a nice-looking lady, make sure to approach her and talk to her. She doesn't count as a hoe unless you tell her about it. Start to sweet talk her, maybe buy her a drink, then drop her this line:


Works like a charm. Whatever you do though, don't stare incessantly at her boobies. That's for step 5.


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